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I am bad student (Yeet)


HegelBot153

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If you are familiar with me, I am not a good person. I say "I aim to please" but far too often I miss the mark (and possibly end up letting loose a shot that nabs someone in the knee). These past two weeks I have not had a Blue's clue what to do with myself our how to move on from one assignment to another when I realize the bitter reality that my work is mediocre and I do not have the excuse of saying I put forth my best. While I suppose I perform well enough for some merit, I fall woefully short of being some lauded scholar or the pride of my family. I would like to have been a good, high achieving student that goes to bed on time, studies with friends and eats his vegetables but I know I am too forgone for that to be a possibility at this point. In fact, I realize that this point of my life is a pivot which the future swivels and turns upon. How bleak could this be for the average underachiever or the slothful thinker? I would hate to think of it. Even in saying this, it is too common a thing to be a matter of pity because I am not destitute enough to warrant compassion nor mighty enough in any measure to have condolence. Could a poor sinner as I even ask for gracious mercy? This feeling is a bizarre one betwixt shame, guilt, regret and mortal insignificance which I has faced all too often but lack any means to understand. Perhaps drawing comparisons gives rise to these sentiments but how could that possibly be so wrong? Even if I "don't think about it too hard" (@brandyboy72) there would still be the invisible truth grasping at my throat, choking the future and strangling all hope. The very last thing I clasp with confidence is that one day the laws that sustain such a merciless dynamic would fail and time would reverse upon an infinite permutation of recursive universes giving rise to a perfect and timeless Elysium but this is just a mere dream overcast with the brooding, lonesome stars of an unsmiling firmament. 

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Starting to go off the rails a bit again... if you haven't been giving best effort, do so.  Kick yourself in the fanny and get on with it.  And if you have, be proud of what you've done and continue on.  Regrets disappear when you give it your all.  So get to it!  :jig:

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