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Physics jokes to ease the pain of this upcoming midterm!



In the early 1900's, name foreigners came to america, and they had bad english skills, espeicaly with tense and past tense. So, one day, a german who just entered the country lost track of the time, as he needed to catch a train , so he asked a physicists "What is time". The physics replied "You will have to ask a philosopher that question, I'm only a scientist".

Your mother is so fat, men are actually attrracted to her, according to General Relativity

Many people espouse the works of Renee DesCartes without reference to the pioneering works of the Dutch naturalist Evander DeHoorst. As such, they tend to put DesCartes before DeHoorst.

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

Einstein on Divorce: "All things are relative. All relatives are things. My relatives took all my things."

Two archaeologists are standing before a gigantic, fallen statue in the desert (See: "Ozymandias" by Percy Bysshe Shelley). One archaeologist says to the other "A great civilization must've made this." His colleague replies "But what brought them down?"

Suddenly, the statue comes to life, rises and replies "I got knocked over."

"Ah," responds the first scientist, "it only stands to reason."

As part of the standard curriculum in a pre-med college, the

students had to take a difficult class in physics. One day, the

professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept. Part

way through the class, a student rudely interrupted to ask, "Why do

we have to learn this stuff?"

"To save lives," the professor responded quickly and continued the


A few minutes later, the same student spoke up again. "So how does

physics save lives?" he persisted.

"It usually keeps idiots like you out of medical school,"

replied the professor.


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